Tag Archives: reading

Taylor Swift and the Lucky Golden Ticket

Reading has always been one of my most cherished past-times: as a child I spent hours flicking through the pages of Enid Blyton, J.K Rowling and Roald Dahl, drinking in their words. I was with Charlie, hoping to find a Wonka bar that contained that lucky, golden ticket. I was stood next to Matilda as she defeated Miss Trunchbull and finally found the love she always craved; I wasn’t alone. Any problems I had suddenly seemed superfluous and all that remained was the story and the characters of the book: my friends.

Whilst the words created by my most loved authors captured my imagination as a child, nowadays, the sounds of Taylor Swift and the sweet accompaniment of a bottle of red wine are far more likely to entice me on a Monday night. So earlier this year I made it my mission to read 25 books before I turn 25; the concept is adorable and I need to create goals for myself so I foolishly believe that my life has meaning.

Unfortunately, as someone with commitment issues,  I intend to follow through with everything I set my mind to but the execution isn’t quite there yet. Couple that with a love for binge-watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I’ve fallen off the reading bandwagon, and picked up a few library fines along the way.

I’m not a child anymore, I don’t have imaginary friends or climb into my wardrobe hoping to find Narnia: I can watch the film on Netflix instead, but isn’t that a crying shame? It’s about time I turned off my laptop and reconnected with some old friends: I think they’ve missed me.

Is there anything you’ve read lately that you’d recommend to spice up my bookshelf? 

Shady’s back…

I’m back! Queue the sounds of hundreds of people not caring…

I’ve actually had my laptop back for a couple of days but I’ve been having one of those weeks where crying in the shower and feeling sorry for myself have been at the top of my to-do list, and I’m sure no-one wants to read about how I regret my entire existence.

Instead, I thought I’d do a quick run-down of everything I’ve learnt in the week I’ve been away:

  • Wearing no underwear in public isn’t as liberating as I thought it would be. Must remember that I live in the real world and not in my fantasy where I’m an Olsen twin.
  • The coverage of the Jay-Z/Solange fight on social media only demonstrates how people care about anything as long as it makes them feel better about their own problems.
  • Trying to match my liquid eye liner on both sides really is a lost cause – I’m always going to look like a prepubescent girl whether L’Oreal tells me I’m worth it or not. If all else fails, I’ll rock a red lip and pretend my mother wanted me to appear on toddlers and tiaras.
  • Rather than learning from my mistakes straight away, I prefer to keep repeating them until I hate myself enough to stop.
  • There aren’t enough words to express the anger I feel towards people who tell me they don’t read because “it’s boring.” Perhaps it isn’t considered ‘cool’ to spend my Saturday looking for new books in the local library instead of hanging out at a beer garden waiting for bad decisions to turn into good ones, but I happen to find reading incredibly fun and sexy. 50 Shades of Grey taught us that, right?

Clearly I’m incredibly judgemental and kind of an asshole, but I knew that already.

All you need is a punch in the face.

I’m feeling kind of depressed at the moment. Not the kind of depression whereby you get hit by a car, break both your legs, lose your job and feel desperately alone in the world. Not even the ‘I’ve had a bad day’ kind of depression where you miss your bus, you’re late for work, get stung by a bee and realise you have no wine in the fridge. My mindset just feels darker somehow, and I blame it on my quest to be come a more well rounded, interesting person who enjoys reading some light ‘Nietzsche’ in my spare time.

I’ve always enjoyed reading darker material, even as a child my favourite book was ‘The Little Match Girl’ by ‘Hans Christian Anderson.’ If any of you haven’t read it, I recommend it, beautiful and slightly haunting, but SPOILER ALERT she dies at the end so not the most cheerful of childhood books. It’s a similar story with films, as a child I used to adore ‘A Little Princess,’ a family film with a happy ending, but still, she thinks her father is dead and has to become a servant, all alone in the world to pay her way. Incase you haven’t guessed there’s a running theme here, loneliness. Something about it has always both terrified and captivated me from an early age, and the books I read and films I watch quite often reflect that. I’ve always romanticized the idea of being alone, and found beauty in it, even in my darkest times I’ve found a sort of sad enjoyment out of the pain that comes from loneliness.

Right now I’m reading ‘Intimacy’ by ‘Hanif Kureishi’, the story of a man who is about to leave his family. The dialogue is so honest that reading it shatters me, and left me feeling slightly uneasy in a way I haven’t felt whilst reading before. It tells the truth, the truth about feeling alone and unhappy in a relationship, and I found myself feeling drained after reading only a few pages. Instead all I wanted was to watch ‘The Notebook’ or ‘Dirty Dancing’ or any romantic film that results in a ‘happy ever after.’ The twisted enjoyment and poetic beauty I used to find in being alone is no longer there, instead it upsets me. I want my ‘Notebook’ moment, I want someone to give a cheesy speech to me about how I’m all they want, I want my happy ending. The next thing you know I’ll be dotting hearts over my ‘i’s’ and listing ‘All You Need is Love’ by ‘The Beatles’ as my favourite song; sickening.

Musings of a mule

I’ve decided to get back into reading again, one of those activities you feel will make you a better human being but are too lazy to do, like flossing, taking vitamins or eating your 5 a day. Whilst I’m at it I might as well start running, donate money to charity, iron my jeans and buy a fruit bowl. Soon enough I’ll be the modern day Pollyanna, advising people how they too can lead the perfect life. If you can’t beat the system, jump on the bandwagon and become an asshole yourself.

Living my life using the lessons I’ve learnt watching TV. All I need now is my own voiceover.

I love television. That’s right, I admit it. And I Don’t just mean I love watching Eastenders on a Monday night or a cheeky night in with a bottle of wine and The X Factor on a Saturday. No, no, I am a television addict, oh the shame. I have spent hours watching episode after episode of some of my favourite shows, until 3am hits and I realise I have to be up for work in 4 hours. A wide spectrum of emotions have been felt towards these characters as if they were friends of mine, I bawled by eyes out when Marissa died on The OC and squealed like a teenage girl when Damon and Elena finally did the deed in The Vampire Diaries. Many hours have been spent trawling the internet for spoilers, just to get my fix. Therefore, I’ve decided to re-do my New Year’s Resolutions (It’s still early January so I reckon that’s alright) based on the best attributes of my favourite television characters.

1. Buffy Summers- Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

This was definitely an easy choice; she embodies everything I wish I could be. Cool as fuck, no-one dares mess with her, kicks ass on a regular basis all whilst having amazing hair and wearing heels and a mini dress. Plus all of the finest men of Sunnydale, alive or dead are after her, she’s a catch alright. This year I’m going to unleash my inner Buffy and not let people walk all over me, I’m in the drivers seat of my own life and if you don’t like the way I’m driving get out of my car. Sassy. Buffy would never let people make her feel small, patronise her, or force her into doing anything, she’d just stake the fucker! NB- I am not promoting violence of any kind here, I kicked my friend once when I was thirteen and still feel guilty about it now.

2. Rory Gilmore- Gilmore Girls.

Rory Gilmore is one of those television characters who I loved early on in the series, which made her transformation into a brat with a huge sense of entitlement kill me all the more. This however, is a discussion for another day. I could rant all day long about the new and not-so-improved Rory Gilmore. What I do admire however, is her smarts. Not only is there a thing on the internet called the ‘Rory Gilmore reading list’ but the amount of pop culture references she has at her disposal is a thing to behold. I need to read more this year: knowledge is power after all. In an attempt to be realistic, I’m going to shoot for a book every 2 weeks to start off with and hopefully I’ll be a literary goddess in no time!

3. Emily Thorne- Revenge.

Similarly to the Buffster, Miss Thorne takes no prisoners. Whilst there’s no-one whose ruined my life thus far apart from topshop and their deliciously over-priced clothing forcing me to spend half my wages each month, nobody could fault her determination to get what she wants. I definitely need to chase what I want more, be it with my career or love life, go for it, and don’t look back. In the past I’ve been fairly uncertain of my decisions but now is the time to take a leap of faith and jump right in. I realise I’ve just used enough clichés to last a lifetime there but it’s true. Also she has a fabulous wardrobe, I’m going to attempt to make bolder fashion choices and forget my belief that black is always the new black.

Honourable mentions go to Barney Stinson and his ability to seduce members of the opposite sex and Damon Salvatore and his ‘I couldn’t give a fuck attitude.’

So there we have it, lets see how this one goes. If all else fails maybe I’ll stop watching television and actually get a life of my own. Bazinga.