I’m a double dipper. That’s a lie; sometimes I even triple dip. There’s nothing I enjoy more than overloading my tortilla chip with half a tub of onion and garlic sauce and then going back in a second time for even more fun. You wouldn’t have a gin without the tonic, why have the chip without the dip?
As half of my anger stems from other people getting angry over trivial issues, making someone feel guilty over an accidental second swipe seems just as undignified as the act itself. Anyone who’s that prissy about dip distribution needs their internet search history exposed on social media for the whole world to see: I’m sure that’d shut them up for long enough to let me enjoy my calorific cool ranch with extra salsa. To dip, or not to dip: that is the question.