A Public Apology

Having a look at your search terms is similar to Googling yourself, you know you’re not likely to find anything interesting but you’re self-involved enough to check anyway. As I don’t expect hundreds of people to be avidly searching for me, I don’t check mine that often. However tonight was an exception, and my findings form the basis of a public apology I’d like to offer anyone who has accidentally clicked on my blog:-


 Further to the above, I apologise to anyone that has accidentally found my blog expecting sordid stories of seduction or tips on how to attract a shopkeeper. I can’t remember the last time I held someones hand or gave out one of my precious ten hugs a year, so the chances of me heading to Asda for a quickie behind the tins of beans is slim to none. If I’m honest, I last went on a date six months ago and I’m more likely to spend the evening eating custard creams than picking up men in a bar. Whilst you can’t expect sex tips or dick pics, I can provide you with my top ten tricks for inserting yourself into the friend-zone and sarcastic commentary on things I pretend to hate but secretly love. 


15 responses to “A Public Apology

  1. I wish I could claim to be this person. But I just want to be bffl’s with whoever typed that. They got their fetishes dowwwwwwwwwwwwn.


  2. Love it, I love that people out there are looking to seduce shopkeepers and that it is so important to them they are looking to google for advice.


  3. Haha! Amazing! It would be great if the read your blog and forgot all about reading other..things


  4. Hahaha loved this! The internet is a strange strange place. I love looking at the search terms because there’s always something completely ridiculous there.

    In fact, about 90% of all of my blog views are probably from people who have searched, ‘Dermot O’Leary Gay’ in a search engine. I mentioned Dermot O’Leary ONCE and that was on a TV Boyfriends tag. I never said anything about him being “gay”. But there you go…. Haha. The other day I had, ‘Harry Potter Erotica’ on my search terms. I don’t even wanna know with that one…


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