A Public Apology

Having a look at your search terms is similar to Googling yourself, you know you’re not likely to find anything interesting but you’re self-involved enough to check anyway. As I don’t expect hundreds of people to be avidly searching for me, I don’t check mine that often. However tonight was an exception, and my findings form the basis of a public apology I’d like to offer anyone who has accidentally clicked on my blog:-

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 Further to the above, I apologise to anyone that has accidentally found my blog expecting sordid stories of seduction or tips on how to attract a shopkeeper. I can’t remember the last time I held someones hand or gave out one of my precious ten hugs a year, so the chances of me heading to Asda for a quickie behind the tins of beans is slim to none. If I’m honest, I last went on a date six months ago and I’m more likely to spend the evening eating custard creams than picking up men in a bar. Whilst you can’t expect sex tips or dick pics, I can provide you with my top ten tricks for inserting yourself into the friend-zone and sarcastic commentary on things I pretend to hate but secretly love. 

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15 responses to “A Public Apology

  1. I wish I could claim to be this person. But I just want to be bffl’s with whoever typed that. They got their fetishes dowwwwwwwwwwwwn.

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  2. Love it, I love that people out there are looking to seduce shopkeepers and that it is so important to them they are looking to google for advice.

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  3. Haha! Amazing! It would be great if the read your blog and forgot all about reading other..things

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  4. Hahaha loved this! The internet is a strange strange place. I love looking at the search terms because there’s always something completely ridiculous there.

    In fact, about 90% of all of my blog views are probably from people who have searched, ‘Dermot O’Leary Gay’ in a search engine. I mentioned Dermot O’Leary ONCE and that was on a TV Boyfriends tag. I never said anything about him being “gay”. But there you go…. Haha. The other day I had, ‘Harry Potter Erotica’ on my search terms. I don’t even wanna know with that one…

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