Having a look at your search terms is similar to Googling yourself, you know you’re not likely to find anything interesting but you’re self-involved enough to check anyway. As I don’t expect hundreds of people to be avidly searching for me, I don’t check mine that often. However tonight was an exception, and my findings form the basis of a public apology I’d like to offer anyone who has accidentally clicked on my blog:-
Further to the above, I apologise to anyone that has accidentally found my blog expecting sordid stories of seduction or tips on how to attract a shopkeeper. I can’t remember the last time I held someones hand or gave out one of my precious ten hugs a year, so the chances of me heading to Asda for a quickie behind the tins of beans is slim to none. If I’m honest, I last went on a date six months ago and I’m more likely to spend the evening eating custard creams than picking up men in a bar. Whilst you can’t expect sex tips or dick pics, I can provide you with my top ten tricks for inserting yourself into the friend-zone and sarcastic commentary on things I pretend to hate but secretly love.