“I’m sorry, I’ve been too busy dealing with the death of a fictional character to reply to your text message” – Helen Fisher, emotionally numb (2014)
As an incredibly sad human being who likes nothing more than spending an evening circling the tv guide with a glass of wine, I become emotionally attached to television characters. I know some of them better than I do my real-life friends and can’t think of anything better than sitting in front of my laptop reading a snark-filled recap of the most recent episode of Gossip Girl. I’ve spent hours during the summer hiatus researching spoilers and finding out who’s set to guest star in the next series. In short – I’m a fucking loser.
Despite my years of experience in dealing with the trials and tribulations of being a television addict, nothing could have prepared me for the heartbreak I felt after witnessing Will’s death on The Good Wife. Never again will I be able to look forward to scenes where Will clears his desk in anger and desperately wish I was Alicia Florrick or live in hope that one day they’ll end up together. If anyone needs me I’ll be crying into my pillow and questioning why good things happen to bad people.
RIP Will Gardner, you were the first man with a larger than average sized nose that I’ve ever found attractive, your well fitted suits and ballroom dancing skills will be sorely missed.