The double dip debate.

I’m a double dipper. That’s a lie; sometimes I even triple dip. There’s nothing I enjoy more than overloading my tortilla chip with half a tub of onion and garlic sauce and then going back in a second time for even more fun. You wouldn’t have a gin without the tonic, why have the chip without the dip?

As half of my anger stems from other people getting angry over trivial issues, making someone feel guilty over an accidental second swipe seems just as undignified as the act itself. Anyone who’s that prissy about dip distribution needs their internet search history exposed on social media for the whole world to see: I’m sure that’d shut them up for long enough to let me enjoy my calorific cool ranch with extra salsa. To dip, or not to dip: that is the question.

 

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6 responses to “The double dip debate.

  1. I get angry about the littlest thing all the time. But double dipping…completely acceptable.

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  2. I don’t overdo it on the dip to chip ratio, but that mostly stems from a larger tortilla chip addiction that has crippled me for most of my life. In my mind, “Why eat this entire jar of salsa on 100 chips when I could eat it on 500 chips?”

    On a side note, people who are that germophobic go around sanitizing everything and they never come in contact with bacteria in the real world. Their immune systems weaken from lack of exposure and they get sick easier.

    When the antibiotic resistant super bug finally springs itself upon us, the double dippers will be the only ones immune to the fatal pandemic. The lone survivors of a ravaged world, they will have to rebuild society.

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    • It must be tough living with such a crippling addiction, I sympathise and understand your motives for savouring the dip – there’s nothing worse than an overly dry tortilla.

      Your reasoning is solid – the world could use someone like you. I 100% agree, it’s a dog eat dog world out there and the weak and hygiene conscious will be sorry later!

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  3. Have you learned nothing from George Costanza.

    Like

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