I’m starting to think that I might be a little bit of a twat – if my life were a romantic comedy this would be the point where I have a mental breakdown and drink an entire bottle of vodka whilst crying in bed. I’ve been sick all over myself, accidentally gotten on the train to somewhere an hour away from where I live, lost my month old iPhone and spent all of my wages a week after pay day.
I’m just waiting for the upbeat musical montage where things start to piece themselves together and the beautiful yet quirky leading lady bumps into Hugh Jackman whilst tripping over her own feet. I’m going to apply the rule “what would Katherine Heigl do?” to my life in order to secure the Hollywood happy ending so popular with my favourite cheesy rom-coms. My list of things to do include scrapbooking, regularly attending the gym and reading underneath large trees whilst making friends with adorable looking squirrels.
I’d much rather fast forward to the end of the film where I marry a charming, cardigan-wearing poet and win the lottery. I bet this kind of shit never happens to Keira Knightley