“Have you tried online dating?”

I spent most of the weekend watching acceptance speeches from the Golden Globes and Academy Awards, which really makes a change from stalking pictures of Emma Watson on Tumblr. It’s information like this which encourages friends of mine to suggest I start online dating. I should have seen the warning signs – my last sexual encounter was an extended high five and I can’t even begin to count the amount of people who’ve mentioned I should “get myself out there.” The thing is, I never realised I was that single – I thought I was far more ‘enjoys nights alone watching Netflix’ than ‘seriously considering purchasing a cat for companionship.’

As the last time I listened to the advice of someone else was in 1999, I decided to try something different and sign up to Tinder – the dating equivalent of a WKD. After 114 ‘matches’ with dark-haired, outdoorsy types that play the cello, I can conclude that I hate dating. I’m probably too picky and should swoon at the thought of a stranger telling me that I look “fit” on my twice-edited Instagram picture but none of these men are at all similar to the Humphrey Bogart-Hugh Jackman hybrid I had in mind.

I’m happy being single – I can go 4 days without shaving my legs and eat an entire bag of Doritos without having to worry about squeezing into my suspender belt. My smug, taken friends might suggest I need to start settling down now but I’m still holding out hope that I’ll meet a handsome stranger in Waterstones. Until then I’m going to continue with my favourite evening activity – binge watching The Mindy Project in my PJs with a glass of red wine. 


11 responses to ““Have you tried online dating?”

  1. “the dating equivalent of a WKD” I like that. And being in a relationship is definitely overrated. Mind you, that’s because I can’t actually get a girlfriend but still… I think you’re doing the right thing!


  2. I’D MATCH YOU TOO. Shhh. Shhh. Don’t be afraid or creeped out. All guys on Tinder are like this, didn’t you know? *Strokes hair*


  3. Stumbled upon this. Really enjoyed!


  4. Question: why are you describing my life on your blog?

    ps; awesome post (;


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