I’ve never been a believer: cynic and proud, my strongest belief is in the power of a cup of coffee or glass of wine. God, luck, ghosts, destiny and Harry Potter are all things our mind holds onto in order to quell the pain of everyday life; a belief that something out of our control has the possibility to change things for the better when we’re at our lowest point. Life’s a bitch and it happens to everyone, no amount of hope or wishing will change a damn thing, only you can. I’d make a great motivational speaker, right?!
However, as of late Karma has begun to play a larger part in my life than I ever thought possible: perhaps to a worrying degree. It all started out simply enough: tipping at the bar, putting money in the charity box in the supermarket and refraining from tutting at the woman on the phone at far too high a volume on the bus. No real issues, I’m just trying to be a better person: no harm, no foul. More recently though my issues with worry and anxiety have started to creep into my karmic activities.
Whereas before I’d attempt to do the washing up as soon as I got in from work, now if I don’t do it I get a terrible feeling that potential disaster will occur and I’ll lose all of my limbs in a fatal accident or wake up to find I’m the only human on earth. It’s the same with putting my clothes away, not taking my make-up off before bed or forgetting to turn the TV off at the wall. They’re all things I should be doing anyway but if I don’t do them at the exact time I feel I should my anxiety levels go off the charts and I think something terrible will happen to one or multiple people I love or tolerate.
It’s not even fun karma, I don’t believe that doing a good deed will cause something good to happen to me in return. Rather I feel doing good deeds stops terrible things from happening like in ‘Final Destination.’ I’m either slowly going completely mad or I’m simply just as sane as everybody else.