Stop the press: I have a very important announcement to make. After searching on the internet for the past half hour for pictures of Tom Hardy I have come to the conclusion that he looks far less attractive without a beard. Like an interesting, not-so-smug version of Channing Tatum who you don’t want to slap with a wet fish.
With his beard he is the modern day Samson, who could make any woman weak at the knees with a turn of the head. Without it he’s just another beefcake celebrity, who looks incredible in a suit. It’s the difference between Cava and Moet: you’d still drink it but it wouldn’t be the first thing you’d order off the menu.
This is Emma Watson all over again; I’d appreciate it if you all give me my privacy during this difficult time.