I’ve spent half the day playing ‘Farm King’ on the internet, it’s half 3 and I’m still in my nightwear, sweating with the intense desire to beat my high score. After each game I say to myself “This is the last one, absolutely the last game,” two hours later I’m still here hearing the clucking of those chickens and the constant ringing of disappointment and failure. Like a woman repeatedly going back to her cheating ex-boyfriend I’m kidding myself into thinking it’ll be different this time, and each time the condescending arseholes from King tell me ‘Sorry, better luck next time.’ Must always remember these words of wisdom from Homer Simpson: “You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try”
English rose with far too many thorns, attempting not to make a complete mess of my life and currently failing miserably. Shameless fan of Starbucks, Pinot Grigio, Quentin Tarantino and novelty jumpers.
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