Not so long ago I wrote about my Twitter pet hate: passive aggressive tweeters. However I have recently discovered a crime much worse: the self-righteous gym tweeter. There are many different levels of this, ranging from wanting to throw a water balloon at said person to giving them a black eye. (Disclaimer: I do not condone violence of any kind, but am partial to the occasional throwing of a water balloon)
- The casual mention: this is for people who either don’t want to seem overly obnoxious or are too boring to think of something else to say. Some examples of this are as follows: “gym tonight”, “need to get back to the gym”, “can’t wait for my workout tonight” and “gym smashed, now for my protein shake and documentary on weight lifting.” Not that offensive, no-one gives that much of a shit whether they’ve been to the gym or not but they’ve made their point: I am a healthy, active person, it says so on social media.
- The deluded, too much information tweeter: “Oh man I benched (enter weight/reps here) today, feeling the burn”, “140kg squats, 10 reps”, you catch my drift. This grinds my gears on so many levels, simply because I struggle to understand who would care how many reps you can do or how much you can bench. This is sending a message to everyone who doesn’t go to the gym and those that do: ‘I am better than you, if you think you’re fit and healthy you’re wrong, I am a better human being than you’. Congratulations, your medal is in the post.
- The out and out asshole: the worst of the bunch, this is someone who actively attempts to make people feel bad because they don’t attend the gym. “Don’t understand anyone who doesn’t make the effort to stay fit and healthy”, “Just seen a fat person eating an ice-cream at the cinema, perhaps they should get themselves on the treadmill instead.” Overtly self-righteous and incredibly annoying, I’m not sure I need to expand on this any further.
The thing is, it actually works. I read these tweets and feel guilty for having pasta for dinner or lounging about watching television all evening. From that I start googling images of thin celebrities and the spiral of self-loathing starts. The result of this is me getting the Ben & Jerry’s out of the freezer and eating more than before I logged on to twitter to make myself feel better because I will never be Jessica Alba. So there we have it, self-righteous gym tweeters, not only are you annoying but it’s also your fault that I’m 10lbs overweight and have zero motivation, thanks a bunch.