Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

I was listening to my favourite radio station Smooth FM the other day (NB I am not being paid by Smooth FM although if they would like to do so I am open to offers) and Lionel Richie came on. I love Lionel Richie for a number of reasons:

  1. His moustache which looks like an upside down smile.
  2. The inviting nature of his hair. 
  3. He looks like he has a slow, deep laugh which is something I wholeheartedly enjoy in a person. (I tried to search for ‘Lionel Richie laugh’ on YouTube but couldn’t find anything.)

Anyway, Lionel Richie’s ‘Dancing on the Ceiling’ came on the radio and I was in a state of blissful happiness, the same blissful happiness I achieve from listening to Wham’s ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere it struck me, he’s not talking about dancing or a natural high from being happy and in love, he’s talking about drugs! Now I’m not one of those cheese dicks that is going to preach about the dangers of doing drugs, whatever tickles your pickle is fine by me, I’d just rather not know about it. I’ve seen ‘Requiem for a Dream’ and I was so depressed afterwards I couldn’t even make dinner, and I love dinner. Never again will I be able to look at that upside down moustache and think he gets a natural high from dancing. Ignorance is bliss, perhaps my naivety has stopped me from growing but if someone now tells me that the song of the century ‘Birthday Cake’ by ‘Rihanna’ isn’t actually about cake I’ll lose all of my faith in humanity.


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